相见不如不见

小学二年级，我有两个好朋友， YF 和 一粒橙

时常一起玩乐，一起胡闹

三年级那年，一粒橙的家人要到海边庆祝中秋节

一粒橙便约了我和YF 一起去

那一年，对我来说是很特别的一个中秋夜

沙滩上的蜡烛，沙堆上的人偶与脚印

随着时间的浪潮，并未因此而消失

但那年的年尾，也是特别的

一粒橙要离开我们相识的地方

“星期天我会离开，一家人都会下吉隆坡”

我真得好舍不得

星期五傍晚，要妈骑着脚踏车载我到他家

想和他说声再见

“他和他妈先下出打点些事情”

记得他爸是这样说的

现在回想起

真得不是很记得当时的感觉

我想，是有些失落和伤心

再见还来不及说，他就走了

你们可别笑我，对小孩子的我来说

那一年，吉隆坡是个遥远的地方

而他，就在那遥远的那方

曾经，我寄过信给他

曾经，我尝试打电话他

曾经，他也回来过

但我们彼此都错过了对方

错过了那再相见的机会

大二那年，从一个朋友处知道

她和一粒橙有联络

便约了我和FY 出来见面

出门前的心情真得很紧张

14年没见了

三个好朋友又能在相聚

是一件开心的事

见面，谈近况，谈过去

离开时，心情好平淡

14年，就是可以那么简单

原来，我一直想恋的

是14年前的他

是回忆里的那个他

再见面，以前的感觉没了

反而还有些遗憾

或许，相见不如不见

时间 真得能冲淡感情

闷

最近，发生了一些事情，让我想了很多。
关于爱情、关于我的待人处世...

很想知道，
爱情，真得可以很宽容吗？
爱情，真得可以不自私的吗？
总是不停的在让步，在妥协
慢慢的，感觉他就要不再属于我了
好像去改变现状，但却又害怕改变的结局
毕竟，那不是我能控制得来的

突然不动要写些什么了
还是去睡吧...
好久都没写东西了
脑袋也呆呆去

虚拟

生活有点无聊 不知自己想要些什么
可以要些什么 能够要些什么

想出去看看世界 却害怕迷失
害怕那不属于自己的陌生
害怕离开自己的一片天地
结果 把自己关在房里
坐在电脑前
生活在一个自己建造 却又不属于自己的世界

徘徊在虚拟的世界
创造一个虚拟的自己
享受着虚拟的游戏 虚拟的人生
虚拟的快乐 虚拟的欢笑

但寂寞和孤独却愈真实
绝不虚拟

爱情若是虚拟的
为何拥抱 却那么真实

颓丧

开工一个多月，有时忙得不可开交，有时却清闲的要命！！！但可惜的是，公司把很多网站都block了，所以满无聊。

前两天的心情真的很差，整个人down down 的，做什么事都提不起劲，那也很绷紧。虽然才开始了一个多月，但说真的，还是人生第一次感觉到那么大的压力。或许，我不太会疏解压力，所以才那么辛苦。当时的我，真得好想哭，好像放弃，觉得自己真的很没用，帮不了人还要拖后腿。

有一晚，在男友的家，抱着他，枕着他的肩膀，眼泪就流个不停，稀里哗啦地，把他吓倒了。他很温柔的安慰我，那种被关怀、被紧紧拥抱的感觉，让我很安定。那一晚，睡得很安宁。其身后，心情也没那么低落，开朗多了。回到公司，senior 也有找我谈谈，告诉我他过往的经验，叫我别太免强自己，多给自己写时间去学习、去适应。很开心，有个很体谅的senior。

我知道自己笨、没那么聪明。但我相信勤能补锉（？），我不介意浪费多些时间学习 ，但我真得不想，因为我，而把大家给拖累了。

忘记

好久都没回来坐坐了，感觉懒散起来...
少写的原因,有时是真得不懂得自己要写些什么，不太辉表达自己的想法。
有时候是,某段时间,好想把某些感觉写下来,但身边又没有适用的媒介,回到家后,感觉没了,写东西的心情也没了~~~
另一个原因,该是自己的记性差吧。总是把身边很多人，很多事情都忘掉;开心的，伤心的；好的坏的；应该记得的，应该怀念的；重要的，不重要的。
不知道自己为何会把那些事情忘去。每次觉得我应该要记起某件事，但不论我如何努力，脑海都是一片空白~~~
我真得不懂这是好事还是坏事，我能轻易的忘记一些不该记得的东西，但也能轻易的忘记一些值得我去怀念的回忆。

或许 有一天 我会忘了你是谁？？

爱。喜欢

一秒钟遇见一个人
一分钟认识一个人
一小时喜欢上一个人
一天爱上一个人
但，却忘掉一个人要用一辈子!

刚从朋友的部落格读到这样的一段话，然我感触满深。

我们真得可以在很短的时间里喜欢上一个人，但却用的大半辈子的时间来忘记他。

曾经，我喜欢上一个人

一个让我以为我可以付出所有的人

可是却因为我们彼此是同性，而他也只能成为我的好朋友

结果

很多不愉快的事情发生了

尝试过绝交，和好，再绝交，又和好…

我为他做了很多，对的，错的…

好的，坏的…

后来，彼此的生活有了改变，大家都分开了，联络少了，感情淡了。

从原来的好朋友，退位到仿佛是普通朋友。

这时候才发现，原来，那种感情不叫爱，充其量，也就不过是一种很深的喜欢。

本来，以为自己可以就这样忘了他，但到现在，偶而还会在脑海中，盘旋着他的身影

他，可安好？

虽然不是爱，但也曾喜欢过。不能真地说忘就能忘。

五年的时间，不长也不短。

五年，足够让我留下太多的回忆；足够让我的家乡，铺满我和他的足迹。

或许，这是我选择逃离家乡的理由吧…

太多东西，我不想去回忆，但却又不能逃避，就只好当个欺骗自己的鸵鸟，把头埋场在一个见不到他的地方，想象着没有他的从前。

该有很多年都没看到他了，但还是没忘了他。

可现在，我找到一个我真正爱的人，懂得爱和喜欢的分别。

我爱现在身边的他；我喜欢以前身边的他。

两个不同的男人，让我明白人生中两种不同的感觉

一个是过去，一个，希望是我的未来…

淡淡的爱，是喜欢

深深的喜欢，是爱

爱。情。

********************************************

我从来都不知道
爱情她何时忽来叩我心扉
我从来都不知道
爱情他会以什么样的形态来到我身边
直到有一天 当我回头张望
回忆中的每段路途
都铺满了你的脚印足迹
我才醒觉
爱情 就在我身边

********************************************

每个人都说
热恋中的恋人最甜蜜
我不懂 我不曾热恋过
呆在你身边
是那么的自然 习惯
就如口可要喝水
睡觉要关眼睛一样
我不懂这样的爱情甜蜜吗？
但我肯定 我是幸福的
因为有你********************************************

我想拥抱爱情 而不是泪水

忧愁的幸福

前些日子整理房间, 找到了一些旧的文章,好久以前写的。读回它们,少了当时的情绪，多了几分感触。因为成长了，有些想法/看法变了，所以，有了新的东西浮现脑海。有时真地会感叹当时的痴。
想把那些文章都放进来，可是打字的速度慢，所以要分批打。哈哈哈。。。

***********************************

前些日子，听到一个创作朋友自弹自唱的歌曲。蛮不错的曲子，听后会让人觉得故事里的主角镇沉溺在幸福中。但无奈，心中的我却觉得一丝丝的忧愁…是歌声或是我的心情使然？

带着忧愁的幸福，联想到的是幸福？还是忧愁？

以前的我，总以为幸福和忧愁适俩码子的事，是没有交际的俩条平行线。一个被幸福包围者的人，是不会感受到忧愁的。因为他心中早已没有多余的位置了。

后来，我心中有了牵挂的人，我才明了那一丝丝的忧愁从何而来。

忧…只因我想爱的长久却没把握。
愁…只因害怕付出了所有却又得不到回应。

就算再相爱的两个人，也会有忧愁。

他爱我吗？
他有在想我吗？
我们明天还会相爱吗？

后来的后来，才明白，就因为幸福，才会有忧愁。
忧愁，只因太爱心里的他…

***********************************

过度幸福的爱情 并不让人怀念
少许的遗憾 才会回味
就因遗憾 所以才牵挂

恶魔之卡

*******************************************************

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

*******************************************************

从一个网友的网站看到这个塔罗牌的游戏，蛮有兴趣的，所以便跑去玩。结果却得回来这样的答案。不太好也不太坏，不过对恶魔之卡还蛮感兴趣。
曾经，幻想过成为恶魔...拥有那让人干到可怕的力量，拥有者存活几世纪的生命...
小学时,一度羡慕"Interview with Vampire"中Brad Pitt和Tom Cruise的角色。那种可以经历数世纪的体验；那种夜间无以伦比的能力；那种让人爱慕的样貌...可是...想象就好，真实的世界，太难找到他们的存在了。
好来，听到了堕落天使的故事，对大天使的徘徊和争扎也开始感到同情（不太了解圣经，有不对的地方请见谅）。时常幻想自己是大天使，堕落在这人世中，对于爱不能自拔...幻想着自己，拥有着天使与恶魔的心，不停的交战...

天使与恶魔 也曾为爱而停留

be simple....and be happy~~~

read this from an email forwarded to me, bout our birth day number means.
my birthday is FEB 10. so i check and get this as replied...

*******************************************
You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,
jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authoritive,
famous person...always want to be and regarded as first on people
position,they are often like to be independent, will never be under
others, self confident people!

You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get
marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people
who have opposite views and you are most likely to take revenge over
your enemies in a long time basis.

You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If
you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental
attraction and respect at you. You can go anywhere from the localshop to
the heart of the parliament because you are possitive and well tallented
in numerous issues!! But in yourlife you will always have some people who
will work hard to bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of
your smart behaviour you will be hated by some people too...

Your family life is very cool,you will have a very nice partner & wonderful
children... You are pioneer, independent & original...
*********************************************

wonder how true can this be. cause out there will have thousand or million of people like me, born in a day with number 10. can all of us having the same personalities and characteristics? then the world will be bit boring for me. talking with the 'same' person but with a different faces.

some part of it really accurate, such as I'M SMART, ATTRACTIVE....etc...wakaka....i think im thick face too....it forget to mention that~~~hahaha

but im just a prince that living my life in a botol...limited my environment within a simple n small places...having my own style of life...but..hey~~~im happy with what i am and what i have now.. doesnt that should be satisfy? doesnt that a happy life?

i dont want war in my lif, fighting with each other because of some stupid reasons, stupid things, and stupid actions. when people demand too much, some even over the ability of themselve to handle what they demanding, troubles and problems will getting appear. we cant run from them, if we not willing to let go what we demanding.

be simple....and be happy~~~

How To Jump Queue At The Cinema Ticketing Lines Without Being Cursed At

Read this from a funny blog (http://bravingkl.blogspot.com/)...love it...but no dare to try...
maybe some of u can go try and tell me how it is work...k??
heheehehee...

tries both TGV n GSC woo....lalala

How To Jump Queue At The Cinema Ticketing Lines Without Being Cursed At

Just proceed to the (normally) underutilized ticket reservation counter, of course!
Didn’t book a ticket? Just pretend you did la!

Here’s how it work:

You: Hi! I’ve got a booking for ABC movie. My booking number is ...

(Now, cook up an imaginary 6-digit booking number in your mind, and say it out loud slowly, number by number. For added convincing power, you may consider shutting your eyes intermittently as though concentrating hard to fish the number out from the deepest fold of your cerebral cortex. Alternatively, you may save this number onto your mobile phone before hand and flash it to the staff instead.)

Staff: (Keys in your booking number into the ticketing system that should promptly return no results, as expected) Cannot find la!

(If the imaginary booking number miraculously returns a valid booking, forget your movie and run to the nearest TOTO outlet to buy a lottery ticket. You’re next-in-line for the multi-million ringgit jackpot.)

You: Cannot be! I just booked yesterday only. Can you check again? This is like the fifth time already that you couldn’t find my booking!

(For extra dramatic effects, the above line should be delivered while going through a colourful emotional journey that starts with shock, then painful recollection, and finally anger. Gifted drama queens will find this as natural as ordering a Starbucks frappo.)

Staff: What to do. I think the system was down yesterday. That’s why.

(The staff shall remain unapologetic, as expected. However, you should show no signs of giving up. Insist that your booking number be checked and rechecked to confirm.)

You: Can you check again ah please? I purrrrrposely wrote down this number yesterday in case I forget you know. How can cannot find? Check again laaaaaaaa.

(After the third try, he/she would have given up and switch over to the regular instant ticket purchasing screen instead. You will now be entitled to select any of the seats available to the long lines of customers with no bookings. Minus all the waiting, of course.)

(Now go practise.)

'粤语惨片' 上演

前晚狐狸弟弟来找我，说他不开心。
为感情事而烦恼...

他的男朋友明年打算结婚了，因为家庭的压力。
男朋友说，他爸是长子，男朋友是长孙，所以家庭的成员成立一个家庭。
男朋友的父母找了一个女人给他，也订了日子明年完婚。
男朋友没有办法反对，因为他家人不知道他是个同性恋。

狐狸弟弟很伤心...
他不懂在这样的情况下，他能做什么？
我也不太懂...我比他幸运的多...爱情路上没多少堪坷...
今年，这已是他第三段失败的感情了。
每一段我都看着它萌芽...然后凋谢...
我看到他的付出，看到他的努力...
但结果，对方都离开。

狐狸弟弟已经开始在相信，他是必须寂寞一辈子...
看着他那落寞的样子，真的会心疼...
除了给他拥抱，我也给不了他什么

可是，现在已是什么年代了？？？
还会有逼婚的戏码在上演...
都快三十的男人了，难道在自己的生命中，都没有自主权吗？？
婚姻不是儿戏！！！他伤害的不只狐狸弟弟 一个人
那女的不会很无辜吗？嫁一个不爱自己的男人
他会有幸福吗？她也会有幸福吗？
如果不是自己想要的生活， 就别接受啊...
毁了一颗心，搞乱了自己的生活
难道还要再牺牲多一个女人的爱情和家庭吗？

或许，他们以后会幸福美满...
但现在，我看到的只是伤害...
狐狸弟弟是家庭，社会，歧视，文化和宗教压力下的牺牲者...

狐狸弟弟...别放弃你自己
好好的爱自己，将来才能找个爱你的人...

~~* Happy Celebration *~~

这星期三就是傻瓜24岁的生日。 但笨蛋不太确定笨蛋当天是否得空，所以笨蛋在昨天，星期日帮傻瓜庆祝了。

到 wisma UOA 的Saisaki 日本餐馆吃日本自助餐。 满好吃的料理，热情的环境（你要说吵杂也可以啦~~~呵呵呵呵）和不错的服务态度。该可以打80分吧！我们（三个人）都吃了满多的食物，肚皮胀得有点恐怖。但当你看到傻瓜吃东西的样子，你总是觉得那东西满好吃的... 吃着吃着，笨蛋的减肥计划就这样泡汤去了... 傻瓜也不瘦嘛...哈哈哈哈哈...后来也去shop了一点 ’ing... 本来是想买傻瓜的生日礼物，但傻瓜他心疼笨蛋刚做工，不愿让笨蛋太花费，所以什么都没买着 （被人管的心情好甜蜜哦哦哦哦哦...）。但结果，笨蛋花了RM99.90买了一个背包。是傻瓜帮笨蛋选的哦。很好看，很特别的一个背包。后来的后来，还去看了场电影，Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, 笨蛋很喜欢这套魔法书，所以傻瓜特地陪笨蛋去看的。（怎么感觉上好像是笨蛋在庆祝多些？？）Harry Portter,一套真得很不错的电影。

星期四，便是傻瓜和笨蛋的三周年半的大日子哦哦哦哦哦... 因为金钱和时间上的问题，没办法再出去好好庆祝一番。但愿那天，笨蛋的training可以早点结束，那笨蛋便可以早点回家准备晚餐给傻瓜吃了...好久好久，都没煮东西给傻瓜吃...

笨蛋有傻瓜的生活，真的...很开心...很幸福...
笨蛋好爱傻瓜～～～～muackssssss~~~~　

鱼和水的对白

read this at my friend profile...
love it...but he also cant remember where he get it...
so i hope the author can forgive me lor~~hehehe

鱼对水说：我一直在哭泣，可是你永远都不知道，因为我在水里。
水说：我知道，因为你一直在我心里。
我不是鱼你也不是水，你能看见我寂寞的眼泪吗？
也许，因为这是寂寞情人泪。

鱼对水说：我永远不会离开你，因为离开你我无法生存。
水说：我知道，可是如果你的心不在呢？
我不是鱼，你也不是水，我不离开你是因为我爱你，
可是，你的心里有我吗？

鱼对水说：我很寂寞，因为我只能待在水里。
水说：我知道，因为我的心里装着你的寂寞。
我不是鱼，你也不是水，我寂寞是因为我思念你，
可是，远方的你能感受到吗？

鱼对水说：如果没有鱼，那水里还会剩下什么？
水说：如果没有你，那又怎么会有我？
我不是鱼，你也不是水，没有你的爱，我依然会好好的活
可是，好好的活并不代表我可以把你忘记。

鱼对水说：一辈子不能出去看看外面的世界，是我最大的遗憾,
水说：一辈子不能打消你的这个念头，是我最大的失败。　
我不是鱼，你也不是水，现在的我只想要一个一辈子的承诺，
可是，你负担的起吗？

鱼对水说：在你的一生中，我是第几条鱼？
水说：你不是在水中的第一条鱼，可却是我心中的第一条。
我不是鱼，你也不是水，我们都不是彼此生命中的第一个
可是，知道吗？你是第一个我想要娶的人。

鱼对水说：你相信一见钟情吗？
水说：当我意识到你是鱼的那一刻，就知道你会游到我的心里。
我不是鱼，你也不是水，我以为我对你的感情不会长久，
因为那是一见钟情，可是，我错了，
感情如酒，越封越香，越长久。

鱼对水说：为什么每次都是我问你答？
水说：因为我喜欢在回答中让你了解我的心。
我不是鱼，你也不是水，为什么你总是让我等待？
难道，你不知道，等待=失去信心=放弃？

如果我是鱼，而你是水，那该有多好！
水永远都知道鱼的想法，因为鱼在水的心里。
但是我不是鱼，你也不是水，你永远都不知道我的爱 ，
因为我也许根本不在你的心里！

如果我是鱼，而你是水，我可以游入你的心里吗？

赞哦。。。『源』点

现在也将近凌晨三点二十五分，
还没睡...
是有点累，但却还不想躺上床。
今天在 friendster.com 看到一位帅哥的BLOG...
人满好看的（这其实是要点...hehehe）
但他写的东西也很吸引人
想把它介绍给大家看...
好好欣赏哦哦哦哦...
我可是看了整大半夜的le~~~

『源』点

爱。永远

前几天，律君问我：“如何去拒绝一个人的爱？由其当你任然是他的爱人时。”

说真的，我也不太懂。
但我想最好的理由，该是“我不再爱你了”吧...
不爱一个人，就是最堂皇的理由。
不需要再多说了...不需要在更多的伤害...

律君问：“不会太残忍吗？”
当然会！
试问，哪个人被拒绝了爱意会不心痛的？
更何况，拒绝你的人是你的爱人...
你说，有可能不残忍吗？

说不再爱她，也许，比较不残忍罢...
不再爱她，但至少曾经爱过吧？

他说他不再爱她，也不知为什么。就是感觉没了。
所以，变成很难相处下去。
他不想因为责任而继续爱她。

突然,我也害怕起来...
和他以起三年多,下个星期四边三年半了。
如果有一天，我们其中一个，发现不再爱对方...
那会如何?

“我不再爱你了”...他说...
真地会好过点吗？
我想，这也许是自欺欺人
痛还会在...

如果要走，别告诉我理由...
就让我自己，找个能够让我不会心痛的理由吧！！
但，我更期望...
爱情，是长久的...

闷的生活

最近的生活都满闷的。。。
虽然开始工作，但日子还是很优闲。老师必须同时兼顾两班，所以我们大部分的时间都在自己找事做。。。
上网啦。。。online games啦。。。写blog啦。。。
感觉上这分薪金拿得有点心虚。。。
不过，如果能这样拿钱工作，也蛮不错嘛。。。
轻松。。。却有点无聊。。。

毕业了，再也不能像以前般优游自在，吊儿郎当。。。
工作了，责任多了，烦恼多了。。。
确实会让人想逃。。。
逃到一个可以轻松的地方。。。
逃到一个没有责任的地方。。。
逃到一个不用工作的地方。。。

看来，我又发梦了。。。
该梦醒了。。。

做梦真的只是小孩的权利吗？
长大了，我们再也不能浪费时间做梦。。。
就连睡觉时做梦的时间也被剥夺了。。。
大人。。。世界也变了。。。

Langkawi trip

Here are some pictures that I took when having my graduation trip to Langkawi.

Is a nice island. People there are friendly enough to give us direction to nice destination. Food are cheap and delicious (em..maybe not all~~~blek). But for me, nothing much can see and visit there. Maybe is because I don't like to visit historical places gua. I more prefered places that are natural not artificial. But can spent time will all my gang members before we separated for work, it does a good memory. A memory that need to be keep for long.

The pic are not so nice. But hope u all love it anyway. kekeke...

Sick time

Sick since I came back from Langkawi. A rush trip for 4 days. We did go for some interested places. But end up with a half dead body at home.

Went for doctor, have some medicines. Bit still can’t recover form the sickness. It makes me suffer more when I start my training class on Monday. It seems like the air-con has made friend with my fever. When ever I in the air-con room my fever will be coming back. I think I have to wait until weekend so I can have a full rest at home, a place that I can be far away from any air-con.

Last night I stay over night at my bf house. Although he didn’t ask, I know actually he is so worry bout me. Feel guilty to make him so worry. I should be the one that take care of him, that’s what I want to be lar, but now is more like he take care of me.

This is the 2^nd day of my training. I hope that it will getting better. I can have a more stable financial income, so I can at least support my mum and my younger sister.

Haih….I’m always a low confident guy.

2nd day of the training

quite some times i did not come in and put down some words....
cause getting lazy...cause getting bored....

life is changing now...
from a study life...moving towards working life...
previously, I can skip any class when i want....
sleep till afternoon also dont have people will come to disturb me...
now...harsh life...wake up at 7am in the morning...prepare myself and go for training...
sien.....i have to continue on this kind of life style for 2 years...
and even my whole life....GOD...hope i get free money..hahahha

life is changing more...
from leisure to mature.....
cant have my everning sleep when tire....
cant play my online game with friends til 5am....
now...beside work...what left in my life..still work...
hahaha...better get use to it fast...
cause can predict that....
that will be part of my life..for long....

wondering how others doing now...?!?!
hope everything fine for them...
hope we still remember the fun time when we study togather....
hope hte friendship...will last forever...

hahaha....
human do only appriciate somethings when we lost it...
weird right?
even we know what will happen at the end..
but same mistake will happen..
again and again..
we learn from the past.....
then we repeat the mistake after we learnt it...
hahaha

So free in training time…^^

waiting for tutor now....having a microsoft VB training course in Amcorp mall now...
is free one ooo....quite good...really can learn something new..strat from basic to deeper...

feel funny to play wth programming...
when u start from 0 and then end with somethings that nice and great...feel happy for it...
i guess that how a mother feel when she see her new born baby...
but is really killing me when there is something happen in the middle when debugging and i have to find the bug out to solve it...i always waste lots of time on that...
wondor how my mother feel when im naughty and make her angry last time...
quite funny...hehehe

mothers' day is coming lor...haven buy anything for my mum...
cause not much money to spend now..i even have to borrow money from mum for this month lei...haih....useless son i am...mum...sorry ooo....

have u guys even tell ur mum or dad 'i love u'??? is it really that hard for asian people to tell that?
i told before...once..when stil kid...after grown older...feel shy to say that...
people mind really change when get older...
change to be more realistic...
change to be more complicate...
change to be more countful...
change to be more money minded...
so much changes till cant have a simple life again...

why cant we just stay togather and have a simple dinner with mum and dad?
why cant we love someone without hoping to get a same return?
why cant we get close to a friend just because like him/her?
the world make us to change??
or because of human...the world change to suit us???

some people say God create the world for human being...huamn being destroy the world cause try to be God...im not sure the world will be destroyed or not in the future...but definitely the world is changing because of human being...

haih......too free till write some many junk here...
wakakkaa...tutor is here lor........

happy day to all my friends...
happy to mum....i love u...
happy to sagua...i love u too....

Boring graduated life

today feeling not so well....seems like fall sick already...
just graduated the day before..then now fall sick...
my bf cant take care of me cause he have something to handle...
feel bit sad sad one...

need to attend some microsoft training program next week..start from 7 of May till 11 of May, 9am-5pm..also same as working time. doesnt is good if im really working with microsoft now??
good working environment and high pay. but sure, high pressure for working too.
really worry bout my future.

whether i can get a job that good enough for me?
whether i can handle my job well?
whether i can give a better living life to my family?
whether i can let my bf stay better life with me togather??

so many things in my mind...yet still cant get a good answer for it.
hope in the near future...i can know the answer..and is a good one...

wish all u guys...all the best for ur future lor...

Feeling lost

thursday will be the last paper for my degree course...
not much mood for study in this sem. most of the time, i will be skipped all the classes. even u saw me in class, i'll be sleeping too...
even now i'm in exam time, but still seldom touch my books for revision. just keeps on play online games and watch drama...
die lor~~~~~

what happen when we all grad and go to separate destination to continue our life?
i lost contact with my primary school friends...lost contact with secondary school friends..also my ktar friends...

maybe is my own problem, cause i seldom contact with people. sometimes, i even forget to call my own bf...hahaha..weird right?
i guess im just not good in maintaining a relationship. cause im a lazy guy ma.
but no matter whom u are and where u are now, as long as we friend before, in present, or in the future, i wish all of u guys happy always, life the life in full of sweet memory.....

Waiting For Exam~~~

quite a long time didn't update my blog...
cause i get 1 new online games to play, which actually my god didi get for me one.
quite nice...cause doesn't need to use the brain most of the time...so i keep on playing till forget to update my blog.

exam also coming...next monday lor...revision making me tired and sleepy most of the time...
so guys...sorry if i always didn't reply ur msn or sms lei...cz i be in sleeping most of the time...hahaha

went to eat some nice food last few weeks...took some photo...hope to share with u guys one day...but..let me be free 1st lor...cz need lots of time for me to create blog with photo...those alignment thing is killing me....

sienz...
dear...love u ooo....
remember to accompany me more lar...
bentan get boring without u always lei...sad sad...

dreaming of neverland

finish my final year project, FYP, on Friday, 23th of March lor.

now feel very relax and happy. at least can put down a burden that i carry for so long.actually not a burden i guess. is my responsibility as being a student. but sometimes, responsibility also can be burden.

going to graduate soon lor. still not sure what i want for my future. bit lost about that. never wonder that i will be a adult and carry somethings that they call it responsibilities, but burden for me.

will it does have a place call neverland?? how am I going to get there??

FYP will kill me~~

recently, my life becoming rush in almost everything.
the FYP due date, course mid-term exam, assignment due date...blar blar blar
may be i do have problem in managing my time. always do things in last minutes.wonder when i will start change this attitude?! when im work? may be it will be too late.

but i do have some difficulty in concentrating myself in this semaster. not sure what happen. but just always day dreaming. but actually, i almost sleep in every classes..wakakaka...just pray that i not going to see my name in the bar list next week...if not~~~~hm...nothing will happenn lar~~

today is 19th of march. the FYP due date is on this friday. just brought the report for binding at noon time. the aunty said we only can get it back on thursday late noon. but she cant promise on that. so i guess it still be ok if get it on friday. after finished up the report, feel less stress. now what i have to do just try to complete my system. hope i can get all done, in a fine condition on wed lor. cause thursday have to demo the system to suppervisor lor. marks will be given on the demo liao. haih~~~

bit happy and thankful cause koklin ask me to join for his FYP group, togather with sifu n MM. not sure how am i now is i going for the Bio research that time. hahaha...but i do love Bio much. how can learn more n know more on bio topic.

quite late lor~~~3am in the morning now. just now planned to do my system. but heard thunder is coming. so just get 2 page done then come write my blog and going to sleep after this lor.

so, wish all of u out there, whom are still awake for ur FYP, for ur work, for ur love one, for nothing also one...try to get some sleep. a sweet dreams and a quiet night maybe is what u need now.

nite~~~~muack..hehehe <<<===== fat hiao~~~

受伤了的爱情

近来，有个朋友因感情事不开心
想开导他，但就好像拿小便去射墙壁
墙壁依旧寸步不离
嘻嘻嘻。。。比喻而已。。。别生气哦

爱情有时真的好伤人
伤的好深，好痛
让我们想就这样忘了自己
忘了爱情，忘了心中的那个人
但如果生命中不再有爱情
你真得会开心吗？？？
你真的希望爱情离你而去吗？？
我想一时的气话，很快就会忘了

你想要一走了之
去一个没人认识你的地方
但爱情的记忆，你放得下吗？
如果，带着爱情的记忆去出走
离开的，只是伤心的地方
带走的，依旧是受了伤的心
走又有何用？？

blar blar blar~~~non-sense

very hungry now...
but can't eat...cause need to diet liao...
if not...later sagua dear say I fat fat lei...
then dont allow me to hug him...
haih...
why I so easy to get fat one...????
why i so lasy to do exercise one...???
why i so love to eat nice food one...???
sienz...

need to continue concentrate on my FYP lor...
do soon...finish fast...sleep more...

Happy birthday to you~~Kelvin

want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to kelvin...
feel sorry cause maybe can't have a birthday celebration for him...
all the gang member are busy with presentation, mid-term exam and FYP now...
guess they don't have time to out and enjoy...
me too...still rushing the FYP documentation in late night like this...
02:32am...who can come and do for me~~~

kelvin...give u a birthday cake here...
come and eat ooo...
heheheh....

多愁善感的水瓶座

水瓶座的我 总是 多愁善感
稍不留神 就会沉入于自己的 幻想世界 不可自拔
幻想里面的东西 都是灰色的
灰色的背景 灰色的音乐 灰色的心情
唯一鲜明的色彩 该是幻想世界的主角吧
离我而去的他 逐渐衰老的母亲
鲜明得让我无法忘却 仿佛一出戏 不间断的重播着

或许 那是一种逃避吧
把所有现实世界中 自己不想面对 不敢面对 逃避不了的
都让自己在幻想世界里 不停地去面对
以自欺的方式 让自己去熟悉
那伤人的情绪 那泪流的痕迹
或许 那是懦弱的我 以为可以让自己 变坚强的方法

哭过了 伤心过了 总以为可以更坦然
才发现 正因为
痛过了 失去过了
反而更担心 无法 去承受
再次的失去

爱你 我的全部

走在前面 我担心看不到你走
在后面 我害怕跟不上你
如果并肩 我们会永远走在一起
但我们真地会能永远吗？
我总是丢三落四地
若我走失了 你会回头寻找吗？
我害怕孤单 害怕寂寞
更害怕没有你的日子
你毕业了 开始工作
感觉到你的辛苦与苦恼
我好想照顾你 帮你分担所有
但我却更像个婴孩般在你怀里
渴望着更多的拥抱
你的疲劳 你的烦闷
我都看得见
但我的孩子 与稚气
你依然带着宽容的爱
在包容我
我恨我的不成熟
更恨我爱得无法自拔
如若一天 我转身离开
会否你能更加轻松 没有枷锁
但除了你的心
我的爱 已无处可逗留
爱你 或许不是我的唯一
可已是我的全部

甜蜜的苦涩

熟悉的房间 熟悉的窗外 熟悉的布置

你不在身边，一切都感觉好陌生

躺在满是你味道的被窝，

心里却是一股伤感的孤单

他们说， 思念是甜蜜的

哪为何我却感到苦涩？？？

他们说， 我有很多的朋友

哪为何我 依然 有寂寞陪伴？？？

思念他的感觉 仿佛永无此尽

就算 他在咫尺

就算 在他怀抱中

我依然 在思念

是我们的心 依然遥远，

不曾靠近过？？

还是爱他太深？？

I'll Call You - 得闲饮茶

07012006 凌晨 2.37分
刚和他看了一出戏。。。“I'll Call You - 得闲饮茶”
很简单。。。很平凡的一出戏
说着一段很简单。。。很平凡的爱情故事。。。
每个人都以为，自己可以得到更好的
在错的时间遇上对的人，往往只因选择了我们想却得不到的
“有个聪明人说过：走出了第一步，接下来就懂该如何走下去”
但不是走出了，路就会是对的。。。
路跟爱情都一样。。。一样会错的
“我们最爱的人，永远不是陪伴一生的人”
或许。。。我们都不同意。。。因为我们还年轻。。。
但当老去才明白这句话的意义，
会不会太迟了？？？
也许。。。有一天，
我也会明了，成全也是爱情的一部份。。。
但。。。愿。。。
那样的一天。。。
很迟。。很迟。。。

open class lor~~~

开学咯。。。五个月过去了，好朋友又有机会相聚在一起
虽然相隔了一段时间，但彼此的感情并没有转淡
大家依然相处得很融洽
但我还没调好生活的步伐，懒散的心情依旧懒散
每一天都带着“哎悃”的脑袋去上课
还没搞清楚一切一切，
作业。。。计划书。。。都排山倒海而来
“你谈恋爱了么？”
是我这几日常听到的问题
给了答案后，换来的是惊奇和埋怨
接着便是我的一轮轮的解释
或许 是时候我该给身边所有人一个交待？？
只是我给的或许不是他们想懂的。。。
人生总是无奈的罢。。。
haih~~~~

妈妈的笨小孩

今天，刚看了“小孩不笨2”
一套蛮感动的戏
“拖手。。。亲嘴。。。睡觉。。。就能怀孕！！！”
曾经我也那么单纯（白痴？？？）过。。。
但那是多少年前了？
十年。。。还是十五年前吧
现在，或许想的是如何才能不怀孕吧。。。
真好笑。。。
当年的纯真，已隐藏在心里的深处

成人的世界里，
单纯 是一种奢侈品
就像电影里 充满了现实许多的渴望 却又渺茫的希望
朋友无悔的付出，被看成一种企图
兄弟间无私的怀抱，被看成愚蠢的行为
交朋友不再谈心，
谈的是彼此能带给对方的利益
连爱一个人，也得衡量是否能得回相同分量的爱
世界。。。不再单纯了吗？

曾经，也责怪过父母亲
生我。。。养我。。。却为何不懂如何来爱我？
疼我。。。宠我。。。却为何不能来了解我？
可是，长大后，心明白了
所以很开心 我能和妈妈一起看“小孩不笨2”
一起流泪。。。
那种单纯。。。而又幸福的感觉。。。
原来。。。心里头的小孩 还没长大。。。
还没离开。。。